he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
