Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
