Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it was like eating out sand paper
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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