I got chris browned last night
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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