I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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