Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
