hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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