I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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