I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
