Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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