Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We need to get me chipped asap
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
