...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize