FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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