i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize