thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
