dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
