I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
