Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
