i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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