so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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