How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
porn star boner night. come get it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
