So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
