dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
