I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
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