just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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