miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
