She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
