in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
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It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
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He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life