I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.