Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Someone shattered a urinal.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends