Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
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It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background