i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
White coat. Heels.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Pants are for mortals