just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize