I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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