I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
