I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
