Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time

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(530): View more from California

The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw

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(714): View more from California

Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".

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(712): View more from Iowa

He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.

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