i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
