worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.