Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila