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I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Floor bacon is actually really good
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize