p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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