So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Randomize