But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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