never play flip cup with pint glasses
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
