C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
