I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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