That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
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I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
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Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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