she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
