Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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