We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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