Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize