she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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