I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
