you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
