WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
