Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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