yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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