she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
