Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
