Already got asked if we're dating
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
