At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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