Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
