Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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