i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i think my mom watched the whole time
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
