Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
