I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
