Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
