You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
