dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
