I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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